Thursday, June 9, 2011

Women and Their Multi Tasking

You have to admire women.  They are the ultimate multi-taskers.  Not only can they cook, clean, pay the bills, take care of the kids, organize the entire household and do a multitude of tasks for the husband, they can also be the consummate backseat drivers while sitting in the passenger seat of the car.  It’s like they are in two places at once.

People often wonder what we did before the invention of the GPS.  But, really, it’s no mystery we’ve always had women to tell us where to go, what to do, how to drive, tell us we are going too fast, too slow, following too close, we should take the side streets, etc., etc.

Probably the reason men have the reputation of never wanting to stop to ask for directions is that we have already received so many directions from our wives that it’s fun for a change to try it on our own.

Even on the standard GPS, they use a woman’s voice.  By the way, I hate that bitch sometimes.  A lot of times she waits until you are right at the turn and then she tells you to turn, which makes you miss the turn.  At least we get to blame her and it doesn’t start a fight with the wife.

They were probably afraid to have a man’s voice on the GPS because male drivers would start talking about sports to their GPS and they’d end up drinking beers in a bar somewhere and never get to where they were going.

In women’s defense, though, if it wasn’t for them, men would probably not, in general, get a whole lot done.  There would be a lot of TV watching and when we’d get bored we tell the youngest child to come over to our chair and have them pull our finger.  We count on our women at those times to roll their eyes and shake their heads to keep us in line.  Our discipline gets a little steeper when the kids are not around , which is one of the reasons we had kids in the first place...protection.

In our driving women are also necessary because even though we act like it’s a burden that they always tell us what to do, we need the orders.  It also works equally well for the women because it gives them a way to manifest their control freakism.  Women aren’t always control freaks.  It usually only occurs after they get married and it happens out of necessity.  So, if we complain about our wives, we shouldn’t since we actually created the situation.  This all makes marriage a very symbiotic relationship.

In regards to driving I think it would be great if they made a GPS with both a male and female voice and that way the GPS genders could argue with each other and it would save a lot of marriages since the live people would just listen.  It would go like this:

Female GPS voice: Turn right at the next light.

Male GPS voice:  What are you talking about we’ll never get there on the side streets, take the freeway.

Female GPS voice:  Fine, at least put your turn signal on.  If you’re going to get us killed we’ll at least be legal.

Male GPS voice:  You never let up, do you!

…And so it goes.  But what would we do without them?  Pull on my finger and you'll find out!

darnfunnyonline.com

Posted via email from darnfunnyonline's posterous

No comments:

Post a Comment