In the mid 1800s the get rich quit scheme was to move out west and become a gold miner. In the last few years it was to buy gold and that would make you rich. Throughout history there have been women who would marry rich men and they would be called gold-diggers. But the most recent way to suddenly strike gold is to come up with a really unique idea for a phone app and sell it at Apple’s app stores. I’ve come up with a couple that I think could make me wealthy and here they are:
“Teaching your teen-age daughter how to drive app”:
This one will utter subtle phrases such as AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! There will also be suppressed screams where you are trying to hold it back but the fear of instant death still evokes some noise. There will also be random phrases that will be blurted out occasionally and very loudly such as SLOW DOWN, NOT SO FAST, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Those will be the key points but it will have other features such as when she is attempting to parallel park, that will say things such TURN, TURN, TURN!!! or OKAY, LET”S TRY THAT AGAIN and my favorite, said in a frustrating manner I JUST DON”T UNSDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SO HARD.
This is an app that will be for the dad’s, by the way, it will save his nerves and then when the daughter comes home she will not be as upset unless she did dent or demolish the car. The dad can also the use the app to complain about the daughter’s driving to his wife afterward. It saves him a lot of frustration and the wife can turn it off whenever she wants, so everyone wins with this one.
The next app is called “knowing what your wife wants when she sends you shopping app”:
This app is quite simple actually. It is programmed to buy the opposite of whatever the man’s normal tendency would be. You might say, “Why do I need an app for that? I could just do the opposite of my inclination.” Ah yes, if it were but that simple. Men can’t do the opposite of what they think they should do because we always think we are right. So we can say we’d do the opposite but it just wouldn’t work.
For a little bit more of the background on that, men are also eminently logical so we would reason that even though the wife said she wanted “X” she wasn’t thinking of so-and-so, so she probably really wants “Y”. In reality we are usually right but the wife will also insist she is right and if we want to have her continue to do most of the work around the house we have to let her think she is right…Just buy the app and make me rich, okay already??
So far those are the only sure-fire, put gold in my pocket apps, I have come up with (additionally, I’m near the end of this article so it works out well.) I had a few other ideas like an app for cutting down a tree, but there is already an app for that called a saw. Then I thought of an app for fixing a car, but again, that app is called a mechanic.
Anyway, these two should be winners so just put your checks in the mail and we’ll just bypass those Apple app stores. I’m sure you’ll really enjoy the apps when I send them to you and remember the other key element to these, I’ll get rich!
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