Here are some funny quotes from a fictional, yet classic TV character, Archie Bunker:
The atheist religion don't believe in the bible.
I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable.
If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass.
The hookeries and massageries...the whole world is turning into a regular Sodom and Glaucamorra.
That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic.
Beat your tambourines with the Hairy Knishes.
The sexual act was never constipated.
No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over."
All girls go cockeyed during pooberescency.
When a boy's coming into poobertyhood.
A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation.
What you're lookin' at here is kind of an old fashioned guy who really believes in the sanctitity of marriage.
Most of 'em have more hismones that hermones.
U.S. history....that's part of your whole American heresy.
You don't hear me gettin' historical (hysterical).
President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth.
I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese.
That's what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped 'em out of Manhattan.
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars?
It's a well known histororical fact: they gave 'em an inch of CzechosloWakia and they took Poland.
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease.
A man's bar is his castle.
East is East and West is West, but none of us is gonna meet Mark Twain.
A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs.
One man's goose is another man's dander.
Just 'cause "there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof!"
I got bigger fish to fly.
Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns.
No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country...oughta be de-exported the hell outta here!
Don't talk like an ignarosis.
All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one.
New York champagne...that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York.
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