As I see the back to school specials and parents scurrying through stores getting their children ready for the next nine or ten months of parental vacation, where they can blame the schools for their kid’s screw ups, it makes me hark back to my own youth. Ah, yes, as I transitioned from goofing off in the summer, unsupervised, to goofing off in school, while being supervised. It was a definite art and was a major part of my education which enhanced my creativity. And it helped me become such a gooderest writer that I am today with unik speelin skils. (If you are reading this after reading some of my older posts and you are thinking, “Hey, buddy, you don’t have to fake the bad grammar and spelling,” you’ll have to take it up with my old teachers. It’s their fault, they should have made me study harder, or at all.)
Those were simpler times, of course. Back then a kid only had to worry about getting his lunch money stolen or getting paddled by the teacher in front of the rest of the class. Now kids have all those worries and so many more, such as, being prepared with birth control in case your teacher wants to have sex with you.
Kids are so much more advanced these days. Back in my day students never had sex with teachers in high school. You had to wait until you got to college to hone that skill and even then it was just the female students. Actually, there weren’t even any teachers at my school, in any grade that I would have been interested in. Of course, there was that one teacher that used to sneak up behind the kids and do a strategic pinch on their shoulder that would make them squirm in their chair. Not a sexual kind of squirm, though. So, I don’t think that would qualify and he only did it to the boys anyway, or as they used to say on the Seinfeld show, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
Another tough decision kids have today, that we didn’t have to go through, is choice of weapon. For example, is a knife sufficient? Should I carry a gun, or pack, as they say? How do I get it through the metal detector? There are so many choices.
I had a distinct advantage back in the day because I played sports in high school. I would say I was a superstar but there are some of my old high school friends who read these articles and they know better. Still, I was good enough to make it an advantage. I was able to get away with more than a lot of kids. But if the teacher didn’t like sports it became a definite disadvantage. Then it was like getting chickens to swim and since I went to school, that they cannot swim, is one of the many valuable things I learned there. I also learned about cosines in algebra, or geometry, one of those classes that vaguely had something to do with math. Anyway, back to the cosines, since I was very logical I didn’t have to listen when they taught about that because it is obviously just referring to two signs. Logic is such a great time saver.
There were so many useful things that I learned in school, too many to mention here. And now that I’ve wrapped up this article I can put to use those valuable goofing off lessons I learned so well back then.
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