Here are some funny quotes from movies. Some I was familiar with and some I never heard of:
"To make honey. Young bee need young flower...Not old prune. "
Karate Kid
"I don't know if my wife left me because of my drinking or I started drinking 'cause my wife left me."
Leaving Las Vegas
"That's nice talk, Ben - keep drinking. Between the 101-proof breath and the occasional bits of drool, some interesting words come out."
Leaving Las Vegas
"My job requires mostly masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that less closely resembles Hell."
American Beauty
"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
Annie Hall
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
Apocalypse Now
"I may be bad...but I feel gooood."
Army of Darkness
"When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke.'
As Good As It Gets
"When I ask for sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads, I expect sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads!"
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
"Do you think if we changed the Bible stories maybe you would get people more easily to relate to them? Instead of the fish story you could do it about Sushi, or instead of giving out bread you did something which had a no-carb alternative or gluten free."
Bruno
"When a man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!"
Dirty Harry
"What an excellent day for an exorcism."
The Exorcist
Bond: You’re not my type.
Girl: Why, cause I have half a brain?
Bond: No, cause you’re single.
James Bond-Casino Royal
"I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics."
Manhattan
"He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty Boy."
Monty Python-Life of brian
"I never listen to you when you're being morbid."
A Streetcar Named Desire
"What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?"
The Wedding Crashers
"How bout I answer your question with another question; how many abo-digitals do you see modelling?"
Zoolander
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