Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:
Abercrombie & Fitch has paid Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino, The Situation, to not wear their brand of clothing anymore because they were afraid it might hurt sales. Now humans beings in general are also feeling he might reflect badly on all humans should aliens from another planet land on earth.
Last Friday was National Aviation Day so all the airline pilots got together and got drunk. They had invited the air traffic control guys to the party too but they all just fell asleep.
There was a mysterious orange goo that showed up on the shoreline of a village in Alaska. Turns out it was just residue of the make-up that John Boehner wears.
Burger King has dethroned their king as their mascot because they want to promote a healthy image. At the same time McDonald’s is considering a new slogan, “Our mascot is a clown and we still kick Burger King’s ass.”
Starbucks is no longer going to let customers use their Internet service a whole day and just buy one cup of coffee. They say if this is successful they may be able to lower their prices to only 4 times what they should be charging.
The man who saved a 6 year-old girl from a child abductor says he’s an illegal immigrant. Now Congress is jumping on the band wagon with a new immigration policy – Save a life, get amnesty.
Bill Clinton celebrated his 65th birthday. He had a great time a in a relaxing hotel with a wonderful celebration and afterward he even took a call from Hillary wishing him a happy birthday.
The Georgetown University basketball team had a goodwill basketball tour in China that coincided with Joe Biden visiting China. The Chinese team started a big fight and they couldn’t even finish the game. It turns out they were pissed at the Americans for bringing Joe Biden into the country.
There was a shortage of drugs reported by drug companies and suddenly the world became brighter to so many people. (Not a joke so much as a social commentary.)
Bill Clinton became a vegan but this is somewhat hypocritical of him because he is still very thankful that Monica Lewinsky was not a vegan back when he was President.
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