Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the past week:
A 75 year old woman recently had a breast implant. This raised her perkiness quotient from her knees to her waist.
Simon Cowell said in an interview with GQ that he wants his body frozen when he dies. Some think he wanted to get a jump on things by having an ice cold personality.
Baseball player Nick Swisher and his actress wife are going on a honeymoon in Afghanistan. This is a sure sign that they consider marriage to be hell.
I saw a headline that said “No More Jobs.” I thought it was about Steve Jobs resigning as the Apple CEO but it was actually about Obama’s economic policies.
Steve Jobs resigned as the CEO of Apple. Some say it was for health reasons but it was actually for the challenge of finding a new line of products that he can vastly overcharge the public for and make them stand in long lines to do it!
Joe Biden is saying that the U.S. needs more economic stimulus which is the best evidence yet that more stimulus is a bad idea.
It was very hot this past week in Southern California and there’s been no rain all summer. It’s causing many Facebook users with Farmville farms to pretend to worry about their pretend crops.
Dick Cheney’s new memoir comes out this week. Surprisingly, it shows his emotional side as he expresses his love of waterboarding and torture in general.
Cheney is also working to head off any critics of his book. He’s taking a pro-active approach and invited anyone who wanted to discuss the book with him in person to go on a hunting trip with him.
It was so hot this past week that Lady Gaga decided to be very efficient and wear a bacon dress outside until it cooked and then she went inside, added tomato and lettuce, and had lunch.
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