Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on the current events of the last week:
The Roger Clemens trial started. He was hoping to draft some of the jurors from the Casey Anthony case for his trial.
Roger Clemens is being charged with lying to Congress about taking steroids. It turns out you’re actually only allowed to lie to Congress if you’re a congressman.
Last week a woman was accused of stealing $110,000 worth of bull semen. She stole it either because she thought she’d also get the appendage which it came from or she has some very lonely cows at home.
CNN cancelled Elliot Spitzer’s show. Who knew there was still an Elliot Spitzer show?
Roseanne is going to have a new show on Lifetime. It’s called Roseanne’s Nuts. I didn’t even realize she was a transvestite.
If the government is shut down there will be 800,000 non-essential employees out of work. I guess that means the President, Vice-President, Congress and about 799,500 others will be on the sideline.
The good news is that if the government is shut down you will still be able to be groped by the TSA if you fly somewhere.
The unemployment rate went to 9.2% nationwide or as President Obama would say “the sky is not falling.” But he does give us hope that we will have change in 2012.
A federal appeals court ruled that the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy in the military is illegal. This was a major win for gays. It also opened the door for military recruiters to start buying advertising time on the TV show “Glee.”
Bill Clinton says Americans need to be more innovative. That could mean many things to many people. For him I’m guessing he has seen the likes of John Edwards and Arnold Schwarzenegger get their mistresses pregnant so they need to be more innovative with their birth control.
Herman Cain, Republican candidate for President, has some good ideas except that he thinks we should keep the Fed because he says, “What are we going to replace it with?” My answer to that argument is that if my dog takes a crap in the back yard and I clean it up I don’t need to have it replaced.
Lady Gaga may have an eating disorder. You had to suspect she had some confusion about food ever since she wore that meat dress.
No comments:
Post a Comment